Unpopular opinion: the Land Rover Defender is a hideous car. Leaving aside that the current model is an affront to its iconic forebear, it is objectively ugly: bloated, charmless and more often than not, incongruously specified with both enormous alloys and a snorkel and roof ladder.
Not that that has dented its popularity. Given the Range Rover proper is now being pushed into the realms of unobtanium to us mere proles, the Defender has quickly picked up the slack amongst the tasteless without trust funds. And, as sure as night follows day, you can now buy a custom Defender Pickup, brought to us by Dutch coachbuilders Heritage Customs.
It was inevitable really – pickup trucks are enjoying inexplicable popularity in the UK among ‘lifestyle’ buyers, though it’s hard to see where this model, based on the long-wheelbase Defender 130, fits in.
As an off-road workhorse, the likes of the Toyota Hilux and Ineos Grenadier can walk the same walk for a fraction of the outlay. Certainly, you’d be hard pressed to put the Heritage Defender Pickup to serious work, given the choad-like dimensions of its rear bed – just one metre deep and 1.2 wide between the wheel arches – there’s just enough space for a large tool box, or let’s be honest: a big shop at Harvey Nics.
If it’s a bespoke truck you crave, surely the battle-proven expertise of off-road specialists Arctic Trucks would hold greater cache? And if you just want an SUV specced to your individual tastes, almost every luxury manufacturer is ready to sit down with you and your wallet.
Customisation options for this Defender are fairly limited, too, with the promotional materials mentioning just bespoke paint and upholstery, as well as a unique range of ‘heritage’ wheels and accessories, including roof racks and spare wheels.
Want one? Visit Heritage Customs to book a build slot. You’ll need €65,000 and a donor Defender 130. But if you really want a 4×4 that’s ungainly, thirsty, impractical and potentially massively unreliable, save the hassle and buy an old Vauxhall Frontera instead.
